That Damn P-Word!

I am a Pagan, but I really don't like that word very much. I find it difficult to define and too easily mistaken for things that I do not believe. According to the dictionary definitions, a Pagan is a member of one of the NonAbrahamic faiths, that is to say, they are not Jewish, Christian, or Muslim. The word itself comes from the Latin paganus or pagus, meaning either a "rustic" or a "civilian", someone who was not enrolled in the Army of God. When Christianity grew up in the metropolitan and urban centers, those who held to the older, rooted faith of the countryside were called "pagans". Now, this definition is not without its faults. Christianity had actually spread throughout the countryside by the time the word came into use, and it was first employed against those who believed in the city Gods or the Olympians, and who practiced Philosophy, primarily of the Neoplatonic variety. These people were almost entirely to be found in the cities, and had very little in common with the rustic or country worship of the traditional Roman pagus. Further, I am not comfortable defining myself by something that I am not. For instance, I would not go up to a stranger and say, "Hello, my name is Sannion. I'm not a rapist, murderer, or child molester. How are you?" And yet, that is essentially what we do when we accept that definition. Further, this meaning of Pagan tells us nothing about the beliefs of the person. Atheistic Jains, world-denying Buddhists, nature mystics, African tribesman, and Wiccans are all "Pagans" - yet you could not get a more diverse group of people, with wildly different approaches to nature, tradition, ritual, theology, ethics, and hierarchy. If, as some people have suggested, Pagan only applies to the PreChristian religions of Western Europe, and those religions that have developed from them, both in Europe and in America, Australia, and other parts of the world - you are no closer to gaining a consensus. You still have Druidry, Asatru, Anglo-Saxon Heathenry, Celtic and Hellenic reconstructionism, Goddess-worship, Shamanism, Satanism, Theosophy, Ceremonial Magick, Thelema, New Age philosophies and perhaps the most wide-spread of the Pagan religions, Wicca. Within Wicca there are numerous traditions: Gardnerian, Alexandrian, Seax, Stregha, American Eclectic, Dianic, and traditional non-Wiccan Witchcraft. What could these groups possibly have in common - besides their being Pagan? If we narrow the term further, we risk excluding a great number of those faiths. Some have suggested that Paganism is a nature religion, that it values a balance between the masculine and feminine, and that it's purpose is to achieve a connection with the natural rhythms of the earth. This definition applies very well to Wicca and those faiths most closely related to it. But you will not always find this approach in the ancient Pagan religions, nor in those religions that seek to reconnect with ancient tradition. Nature was as likely to be viewed with fear and hostility as with reverence and awe. Nature included such things as wild animals, violent storms, and sudden droughts. It is easy to romanticize nature form our safe, warm homes - it's quite another thing when one is in the midst of it. This is why the Indo-European myth of the conquering of the serpent-dragon or the overthrowing of the elder Gods - both closely associated with the uncanny aspects of Nature - were so popular. And while female deities were unquestionably present in the pantheons of the world - and often with places of great importance - there was never a universal belief in a single Great Mother Goddess, nor is there anything to the myth of a widespread matriarchy. The treatment of women in the ancient world is both unfortunate and undesirable, and it is certainly one aspect of their culture that can remain a thing of the past. But it benefits no one to pretend that it didn't happen, to mistake revisionist history and mythology for reality. So if this definition of Pagan is too precise, and the other is too general - what is an acceptable definition? I haven't found one yet that I like. So why, then, do I continue using it? It is a very colorful word, full of many meanings, some of which describe my beliefs, and others I can look fondly upon, even if they do not. Pagan also suggests connection to me - connection to the land, to the ancients, and to all of the other Pagan religions that are out there. We may not have the same beliefs, but our beliefs are related, and that makes us friends, allies, cousins if you will. My attempts at undercovering an acceptable definition for the word are like boyhood wrestling matches, some of which I won, others I did not - but all remembered fondly in the twilight of my years. It's a word that I have invested with a lot of emotional energy, and so I continue to use it - even if I have to modify it with a number of other words, such as Reconstructionist, Hellenic, Polytheist, NonWiccan, etc. But it's still, and will always be, that damn P-word!